I feel a major desire to move to Massachusetts. There is so much going on here in California, family drama, friends, a million things that I feel pressured to go do and to go see. I feel I have been busy for the past 3 years. I am ready to just slow down. I am ready to not worry about family drama, I am hoping that being 3,000 miles away will help with that. It will help me know who wants to be a part of our lives because they will come see us. I am sick of being caught up with drama from the town and people of Napa most of whom I have not even seen in 16 years. When will I be left alone??
It is not that I am running away, because I know that I will be the same person no matter where I live. I cannot hide from myself. But I am looking forward to the new atmosphere. I am looking forward to the slower paced life. I am looking forward to the fact that there wont be a zoo, fairytale town, childrens museum, art beast etc to keep us overly busy. For the past 3 years there has been so much rush, so much hurry, in my life I am excited to just be.
The kids will love it! An average day right now consists of Daniel waking up super early and either leaving for work right away or else he works from home until 7:30 and then he heads to work. I get the kids ready and we head to some sort of playgroup adventure type thing. We have great times and learn new things but then we rush home for naps, nap, errands, cook dinner, bath, dishes, bed. That is exhausting. When do we fit in exercise? Learning? Just talking and exploring? Never. I do not want to spend hours daily in the car. I want to wake up, have a cup of coffee with Daniel, play with the kids and the animals. I want to go check and see if the chickens laid any eggs, I want to go explore the woods and go for a walk to the village. I want to grow vegetables and flowers and work on my garden while the kids play outside. I want time for crafting. I want to enjoy cooking dinner because I can see my kids from the kitchen. I want my husband to wake up with us, see and talk to him before work, to go meet up with him for a mid day adventure, have him home at 5 so we have time to play before dinner and bedtime. I feel so bad for daniel that he works non stop yet it is me and the girls that get to do all of the playing. We are family and he is the love of my life. I would love to be able to spend more time with him- and we will, in Massachusetts. I cannot wait.
19 more days and I am so excited!
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